All the coaching techniques and strategies here at This Parenting Life are based upon the strategies of positive parenting, parenting that is authentic, comes from the heart, ensures that a child always feels loved and is associated with better outcomes for children and parents.
Parents who practice positive parenting are concerned with long-term parenting goals and maintaining a strong emotional connection with their child every day. The underlying foundation of all positive parenting techniques is a responsiveness of a parent to their child's emotional needs.
Parents who practice positive parenting have an affection and authoritative parenting style. They focus on support and maintaining a strong attachment between themselves and their child. They hold realistic expectations for their child's physical, mental and emotional capabilities in line with their developmental level. They are consistent and follow through with what they tell their child. A positive parent acknowledges that they are a primary influence in their child's life and take responsibility for the example they set. The concept of "do as I say, not as I do" is not present in a positive parenting household, nor do parents say "because I told you so."
A parent who is striving to teach their child the skills of emotional regulation, ensures that they are a good role model by expressing their own emotions in a healthy manner. If they are struggling with how they are feeling, then they seek the appropriate support for themselves.
Positive parenting is concerned with the emotional wellbeing of children. Praise and feedback are unique for the child's individual requirements so that the child feels loved, respected and safe. Parents focus on the positive behaviour of their child and use positive reinforcement. Discipline techniques are focused on helping the child learn from the situation and their mistakes. Parents avoid smacking or shaming their child and avoid using time-out techniques.
Parents work with their child's unique strengths to help them develop emotional intelligence, emotional control and appropriate behaviours within their own timeline and expected developmental level.
Positive parents support the uniqueness of their child and foster his or her own interests without putting their own expectations upon their child. Children who are parted through positive parenting techniques feel that they are supported at all times, not just when they achieve certain goals. Children are not made to feel like failures, disappointments or as if they are required to do something for their parent's happiness.
Positive parenting does not end with interactions with the child. Parents advocate and support their child in all situations. This includes advocating for their needs in all situations including daycare, preschool, school or in social environments. They are active participants in any therapeutic relationships with medical or allied health professionals.
Parents support their childs' relationships with immediate and extended family and friendship groups. They help guide their child to maintain honest and respectful relationships. Parents are interested in their child's friends and encourage them to come over to the house or meet in social situations so that their child feels that their parent is interested in their friends.
Positive parenting puts a high level of importance on being involved with their child's life. This does not mean that they are present 100% of the time or a required to be stay-at-home parents. They put a premium on spending quality 1:1 time with their children where they are fully present and often engaging in child-led play. This 1:1 time could be as little as 10-15 minutes each day and is part of the daily routine. They listen to their children without interrupting and emotionally attentive and respectful to their child's needs.
Children who live in two-parent households receive consistent involvement from both parents who work together as a team. In co-parenting (two households) families both parents continue to put a priority on consistent parenting techniques and work with an agreed parenting plan when safe and appropriate.
In single-parent families, or where one parent is against positive parenting strategies, the parent using positive parenting strategies does not bad-mouth the other parent or overcompensate. They strive to be a strong, solid, primary attachment figure.
Parents who use positive parenting techniques are self-aware and reflective. They understand that the strategies they choose to use with their children are not often easy, but they are committed to them because of the benefits they have.
They are aware of how they cannot parent from an empty cup and look after themselves on a daily basis. They eat well and exercise regularly, maintain personal friendships, take regular periods of downtime and have realistic expectations for themselves.
Parents are aware of their own limitations and regularly read and investigate alternative techniques, attend talks and workshops and seek out professional support when necessary. They know that the more parenting skills they learn, the easier and more enjoyable it is to be a parent. They forgive themselves when they have a bad day and let go of behaviours that no longer fit within their value system.
Positive parenting is not easy. It is a parenting strategy that takes commitment, hard work and daily focus to be a conscious parent and break free from patterns of reaction to children's behaviour.
Most importantly positive parenting is NOT perfect parenting. There is no such thing as the perfect parent, just like there is no such thing as a perfect child.
If you would like to have a chat about how parenting coaching can help you and your family, then please feel to get in contact with me and share your challenges. My inbox is always open and I'll get back to you ASAP.
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This Parenting Life
An Australian based online positive parenting support service for all parents.
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